Monday, July 18, 2011

A time of renewal

Last week I escaped.  I packed my bags, got in my vehicle and made a run for the border to a secret hideaway.   Really.  For the first time (I think since I've been married) I stepped outside my life for four days and took time for me.  All by myself. 

The purpose was to write.  To get into my head and pull out those people.. I mean characters, that live in there and breathe life to them on the page.  I spent the better part of my time with my butt parked, my netbook at the ready, my thoughts open.  I spent the other part of my time wandering about, exploring a little and drinking in the peace of being in a cabin on the waterfront with tides to reveal a little or less of what lay below.  Kind of like writing, things were open to view, or hidden until the time was right.

I stayed in La Conner, Washington - or rather just over from it.  I got to see fighter jets overhead (which, yes, brought about all kinds of great romantic fantasy ideas for another story down the road!), taste the salty breeze, feel the sun on my face and really hear my thoughts.  I stayed up late writing and reading, I slept in, I ate what I wanted (Sorry Ally - I couldn't help myself! and I'll get back on track this week, it is after all a lifestyle change and change takes time right?)

I got cozy with some really hot guys (all on paper, lol) and got to know my heroine.  Turns out the men in my romance want it to be their story.  That's what you get for working with alpha-males - even if they are imaginary.

And I got to do a lot of thinking about my life.  I know that being in a wee cabin, I had everything I needed, I missed my kids dreadfully, I missed my husband and I missed our pets.  I didnt' miss the stuff I own.   hmmm..

I also came to the conclusion that I want to be a better parent - learn how to get my kids to do things because they want to, not because mommy  has finally gone over the edge and made them.  I want them to be happy with less - I want me to be happy with less.  I want us to connect, to do things together.  To make the most of this precious time while they are small.

I want to be a better me.  I want to give myself the gift of time to write, to exercise, to make good choices whether it be food, or how I use my time.  I want to embrace the possibilities, not focus on the can'ts.

At the halfway point of the year, I am just under halfway to my weigh loss goal. It's time to step up to the plate (not literally!) and get focused.  I need to reach this goal - it's more than just about weight. It's about being healthy and giving myself the gift of caring.   I want this for my kids, for my spouse, for me.  I want to be an example to us all that we can make changes and we can have it all.  Maybe not perfectly, but in my own slighly chaotic way.

I'll be chatting a bit about all of this over the next while - so stay tuned. And please - feel free to share anything you wish about making changes, learning, finding time - finding ourselves and in that, connecting with those we love.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so glad you had this time to write and think and make goals! Sometimes stepping back from everything helps you to see clearer!