Wednesday, June 15, 2011

“Lovable Labels BlogHer’ 11 Getaway Contest- Finding Me

Lovable Labels is running an incredible contest - and as part of it, they asked "what is your greatest accomplishment".  That really got me thinking...

If anyone had asked, there was a time I’d have said my greatest accomplishment was getting the job I have now. After all, I help people in conflict.  I get to use my gift of speaking and sharing to let them work through issues, together, to an outcome of their choosing.  What could be greater?  Well, motherhood, for sure – but aside from that?

The more I’ve thought on it, though, I’ve realized that wouldn’t be the truth.  I’ve done many great things – charity work, successful projects – gosh the list is endless.   And none of it would be the greatest.

I spent my youth wishing I was popular.  By the time I hit college, I worked out 7 days a week to be skinny so I could have the ‘perfect’ body.  Seven days a week…

I ate little, and what little I ate couldn’t be counted as healthy – diet coke and a bag of chips (which I worked out to burn off).  I picked at food – hated it some days, loved it others – never really being satisfied.  I didn’t want to go back to feeling like the fat girl I thought I was in high school.  When out on a date, God forbid I actually enjoyed a meal.

That perfect body I mentioned?  It never happened.  No matter how much I worked out, or how much weight I lost, I still felt fat.  I was never happy with how I looked.  There was always another girl who was thinner, prettier or more attractive than I was.  Self-esteem… yeah..right..

I hung out with the ‘in’ crowd, was part of the student council, did well in class – but somehow it never seemed to fill that empty place inside.  The boys I liked didn’t notice me. The people I surrounded myself with didn’t see, well, me. The real me.  I felt like I was on the outside looking in.  A stranger in a crowd of friends.

The scary thing is, that feeling persisted into my adulthood. But now instead of thin as the goal, being invisible was.  Until one day I realized that the only person who could change that, was me.   I decided to step out of my comfort zone (which included a protective padding of extra weight) and make some changes.  I began to eat well –  deciding I deserved better.  I began to exercise – in fact, I participated in an online challenge, sharing my journey for all to see.  I set a goal to average a pound a week for a year.  I’m almost halfway there and right on target! 

I’ve decided that being an inspiration for others – especially my children – is important.  When you start a journey like this, you lose more than weight.  You let go of a lot of negative habits and more than a little guilt.  I’ve also come to terms that how I felt back then was my perspective – and not necessarily that of others. I am still surrounded by many of  those people from my youth and I now know I was wrong about what they saw.  I wasted a lot of years with those feelings.

Learning to let go of my negative voice, to embrace a new lifestyle, to let friends be supportive and to truly share with them is transforming my life. And no, I’m not perfect or even reaching for it - and that’s ok!  I see the opportunities. I embrace the unexpected.  I love myself. And that, all on its own, is my greatest accomplishment.


  1. What a wonderful accomplishment--transforming your life. You sound very happy and positive and like the inspiration you want to be. Congratulations! And good luck in the BlogHer contest.

  2. Thanks so so much for sharing. You have a whole lot of insight. I can really relate to your story and recognize that your self-knowledge doesn't come easy. You've accomplished a lot in making these changes, being visible and taking positive action. Bravo!