“Lovable Labels BlogHer’ 11 Getaway Contest- Finding Me

Lovable Labels is running an incredible contest - and as part of it, they asked "what is your greatest accomplishment".  That really got me thinking...

If anyone had asked, there was a time I’d have said my greatest accomplishment was getting the job I have now. After all, I help people in conflict.  I get to use my gift of speaking and sharing to let them work through issues, together, to an outcome of their choosing.  What could be greater?  Well, motherhood, for sure – but aside from that?

The more I’ve thought on it, though, I’ve realized that wouldn’t be the truth.  I’ve done many great things – charity work, successful projects – gosh the list is endless.   And none of it would be the greatest.

I spent my youth wishing I was popular.  By the time I hit college, I worked out 7 days a week to be skinny so I could have the ‘perfect’ body.  Seven days a week…

I ate little, and what little I ate couldn’t be counted as healthy – diet coke and a bag of chips (which I worked out to burn off).  I picked at food – hated it some days, loved it others – never really being satisfied.  I didn’t want to go back to feeling like the fat girl I thought I was in high school.  When out on a date, God forbid I actually enjoyed a meal.

That perfect body I mentioned?  It never happened.  No matter how much I worked out, or how much weight I lost, I still felt fat.  I was never happy with how I looked.  There was always another girl who was thinner, prettier or more attractive than I was.  Self-esteem… yeah..right..

I hung out with the ‘in’ crowd, was part of the student council, did well in class – but somehow it never seemed to fill that empty place inside.  The boys I liked didn’t notice me. The people I surrounded myself with didn’t see, well, me. The real me.  I felt like I was on the outside looking in.  A stranger in a crowd of friends.

The scary thing is, that feeling persisted into my adulthood. But now instead of thin as the goal, being invisible was.  Until one day I realized that the only person who could change that, was me.   I decided to step out of my comfort zone (which included a protective padding of extra weight) and make some changes.  I began to eat well –  deciding I deserved better.  I began to exercise – in fact, I participated in an online challenge, sharing my journey for all to see.  I set a goal to average a pound a week for a year.  I’m almost halfway there and right on target! 

I’ve decided that being an inspiration for others – especially my children – is important.  When you start a journey like this, you lose more than weight.  You let go of a lot of negative habits and more than a little guilt.  I’ve also come to terms that how I felt back then was my perspective – and not necessarily that of others. I am still surrounded by many of  those people from my youth and I now know I was wrong about what they saw.  I wasted a lot of years with those feelings.

Learning to let go of my negative voice, to embrace a new lifestyle, to let friends be supportive and to truly share with them is transforming my life. And no, I’m not perfect or even reaching for it - and that’s ok!  I see the opportunities. I embrace the unexpected.  I love myself. And that, all on its own, is my greatest accomplishment.