It's typical that at the start of a new year, we begin to look at change. After all, there are 365 clean squares on the calendar just waiting to be filled. At this point, anything is possible! Usually we get in there all gung ho, then fizzle, then hope no one notices that we've quit reaching for those possibilities. This year, I'm all about changing that!
I've suddenly realized that those little squares on the calendar disappear quickly, and that somewhere along the way, decades have gone by. Yes, not years, but decades! And while those pages were turning and the years were rolling, piece by piece, I began to go missing. Oh, not in the literal sense - actually I've expanded rather well in that regard! No, it's been a more a gradual lessening of the "essence of me" evolving into the "essence of we". I am, after all, a wife and a mother, so it goes without saying that a little piece of me follows those I love wherever they may be. But over time I've left a bigger piece of me out there - enough to wonder who I am when I look in the mirror. And so I decided that 2011 would be my year of finding me. I know that underneath my clutter, my weight, my responsibilities, my roles and the expectations of all that the essence of me is waiting to burst free again.
This is the year I make that happen!!!
I've already joined Weight Watchers and I've lost 5.8lbs in my first two weeks (way to go me!) and I'm shooting for at least 20lbs total by my birthday in March. I'm focussed on the good feelings, and except for the unfortunate incident with the KD crackers this evening - I'm happily following the program without any worries. (It's ok, I've accounted for said KD crackers. and learned they are NOT worth using up all of my extra points for)
My plan is to lose weight, get healthy (I do have to keep up with a toddler and a preschooler, afterall), and to allow my creative side to make an appearance through my writing, scrapbooking and my renovation and restoration projects in my home. I itch to create and so I shall. I'll create me (I'm aiming for luscious, not skinny. - don't you just love that word - Luscious. Makes me think of Marilyn Monroe, May West and Jessica Rabbit)I'll create my work of fiction and I'll create a home that soothes and heals rather than screeches and stresses.
It's going to be one fun ride. Won't you join me?